No energy today. I felt like a sea slug. Is the heat getting to me already ?
Here's an excellent article in the NYT about suicide
With so many flaky health stories in the news, it's great to read something that is well written, thoughtful, and backed up with facts.
Saw the movie "In Bruges" . I liked it even though there was too much violence. If you're into political correctness don't watch it.
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Showing posts with label suicide. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Thursday, February 21, 2008
Suicide
NO ! I'm not going to kill myself, even though I think about it often. Usually when I'm very tired and take one of my naps. That's the reason I avoid naps because I know sure enough my thoughts will drift to suicide. And how many times have I been half awake in bed, my worries magnified a thousand times in my mind.
The same pointless thoughts: "I have no future" " I'm useless" " I'm going to lose my independence"" I'm going to be a crazy old lady, living in a cardboard box on the street" and so on. All of it nonsense .
During the day I'm making all sorts of plans, so obviously I don't really believe I have no future .
Lose my independence ? Yeah that could happen, but then I'm not very good at asking for help, so maybe that's something I need to learn how to do. Useless? Hmm have to think about that more Do we really need to be useful to matter ?
If I do end up in a box on the street, I hope I'm in Florida, where it's warm. If there's a hurricane, I can always get another box .
I can truthfully say that I will not suicide.
Why?
First because I believe it's a sin . I don't mean that I think that people who have done it go to hell. I leave those decisions to God. I guess part of it is residual brainwashing from my Catholic up bringing ( I no longer practice) . I think suicide is taboo in all religions. Life is precious, a mystery, perhaps one that we will never figure out , and aren't meant to.
Second. I have seen the impact suicide has on those who are left behind. Entire families ripped apart. You think your life doesn't matter? Watch that movie "It's a Wonderful Life".
I have a friend who tells me that if you kill yourself, you have to come back and live your life over again, exactly the same . I'm way too tired to do that . So I have no choice other than to stick around and see what happens .
So how did I cure myself this week of lowly depressed thoughts ?
I went out and bought myself a great big , whacking, HD television. Not that I can afford it, but when has that ever stopped me . I plan to buy all the movies I love and sit around watching them.
Just have to make sure I don't take any naps.
Suicide facts
Help if you need it
The same pointless thoughts: "I have no future" " I'm useless" " I'm going to lose my independence"" I'm going to be a crazy old lady, living in a cardboard box on the street" and so on. All of it nonsense .
During the day I'm making all sorts of plans, so obviously I don't really believe I have no future .
Lose my independence ? Yeah that could happen, but then I'm not very good at asking for help, so maybe that's something I need to learn how to do. Useless? Hmm have to think about that more Do we really need to be useful to matter ?
If I do end up in a box on the street, I hope I'm in Florida, where it's warm. If there's a hurricane, I can always get another box .
I can truthfully say that I will not suicide.
Why?
First because I believe it's a sin . I don't mean that I think that people who have done it go to hell. I leave those decisions to God. I guess part of it is residual brainwashing from my Catholic up bringing ( I no longer practice) . I think suicide is taboo in all religions. Life is precious, a mystery, perhaps one that we will never figure out , and aren't meant to.
Second. I have seen the impact suicide has on those who are left behind. Entire families ripped apart. You think your life doesn't matter? Watch that movie "It's a Wonderful Life".
I have a friend who tells me that if you kill yourself, you have to come back and live your life over again, exactly the same . I'm way too tired to do that . So I have no choice other than to stick around and see what happens .
So how did I cure myself this week of lowly depressed thoughts ?
I went out and bought myself a great big , whacking, HD television. Not that I can afford it, but when has that ever stopped me . I plan to buy all the movies I love and sit around watching them.
Just have to make sure I don't take any naps.
Suicide facts
Help if you need it
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
