Skin Cell Research

Read here about scientists who have been able to turn mouse skin cells into neurons.

Lets hope the same procedure works using human cells.

And here's a rational article discussing the pro and cons of mammography. Myself I don't go for a mammogram every year and to be honest I only go to stop people from nagging me. That doesn't mean you shouldn't. I just am not convinced that they do much. That is my opinion. I'm not saying I'm right.

I wanted to write an entire post about medical research but truthfully I am way too tired after a week of dental and office woes. I'm grateful that I had a good zap of THC vapour last night. It killed all my pain and I had a great night's sleep. I will continue to praise the merits of THC in my blog so if you are anti pot for what ever reasons, you should stop reading my blog.

I shocked some co workers yesterday when they were discussing retirement. In my age group that's the most talked about thing at work. I said I couldn't think too far into the future because if I will feel as bad as I do right now, the idea of tolerating it for another 25 - 30 years is unbearable. Don't worry I am not a candidate for the suicide watch. I am very much taking it one day at a time.
I resent being made to feel that I must want to live as long as possible and if I don't I'm some how selfish or mentally ill. Why can't we ever have an intelligent conversation about this without people trying to impose their own sense of morality? What is so wrong with at least thinking about how and when you want to stop living?

If they or you don't like what I say or think, too bad. I'm not all that concerned about what others think of me these days. That is one thing about MS I find liberating. It's my life Baby!! Not yours!!

My City is Ignorant

Shame on you Hamilton and good on you Leafs. Read about how a disabled boy was denied access to a skating rink right here in my city!!

I mean seriously, you can't accommodate a wheel chair on an ice rink? Hockey players weigh three times as much. Anyway, the kid scored and you lose Hamilton.

Up And Down

A crazy sort of week has past and I'm glad. Just as my blog title says, MS is a roller coaster ride. Think that's why I'm avoiding my blog too. Living it is one thing, but writing about is getting harder. There it is in black and white and there's no getting away from it.

I kept busy this week doing catch up on many things. Busy for me would not seem like much to another person. There was a time when I could multi task. Now I have trouble completing a single thing without having to take many breaks.

A bit down about work too. Working from home is a big improvement for me, yet there are days when I feel as tired as I ever did going to the office. I also feel very discouraged after my office day. Seems like no matter what I do, I never am able to get on track, always feel that I will have to carry on having to prove myself. That this whole accommodation is something I have to continue to earn. Even more irritating is when I get sucked into the office sub culture. Thought I was smarter than that. When will I learn that there will always be people who get undeserved praise and rewards. When will I realize that there will always be people who can get away with not doing very much. And finally when will I stop and remember that so much of what goes on in the office is politics.

The idea of quitting is unpleasant and yet I know that day is coming sooner than I wanted.

It's not that I'm afraid of ending my work days. I certainly have more than enough things that I enjoy doing, so retirement wouldn't be a bore. I just don't like the idea that I will have much less money to live on because I will have to pay a penalty if I do retire early. How many people I have known who were able to coast through their last few years at work and here I am with the last being the hardest. It sucks. Then I see all the people who have no pension except Old Age Security and Canada Pension(if they are lucky). Just getting by; an old age of living at the poverty level and doing it for 30,40 years.

In spite of all that I do feel pretty good today. Last night I was talking to a friend and we both agreed that having a good imagination is truly a blessing. Emily Dickinson was right about that. Because I can't remember the blasted quote that I really wanted to use here, this one is almost as good. If anybody knows the one I mean, how she can travel in her imagination ("I've never been to sea"), please post a comment

"There is no frigate like a book to take us lands away
Nor any courses like a page of prancing poetry
This traverse may the poorest take without oppress of toil
How frugal is the chariot that bears the human soul!"

Paying For It

Had a great day yesterday. A small group of us got together for a postcard meet up. We went shopping for cards and stamps and then wrote out cards to send out.
Here we are admiring some of the loot.




I was tired at the end of the day, but feeling good. Happy I was able to keep up the pace. Now this morning I'm a total wreck. I can barely move. What is annoying is I feel hung over, yet didn't drink or use any drugs, not even any THC before I went to bed, although that stuff never seems to have any side effects. Every thing I do these days comes at a price, but I don't care. I have to keep going and try to get as much enjoyment out of life as I can. Never thought postcards could be that much fun.

I think today is going to be quiet. I'll sit back, watch a few old movies, and eat left over Indian food. Why do I have this nagging feeling ?
I try not to worry about the future and then MS comes and smacks me in the head.

So That's What You Look Like !

Had to attend a seminar at work today. I came face to face with a woman that I had only ever corresponded with for years. She didn't look anything at all like what I had imagined, which is no surprise. People never look like the way I picture them in my head. She is a very strong lawyer who works for the Department of Justice. I had this mental imagine of Portia, not the Shakespeare one, but the one from "Rumpole of The Bailey"
(played by Patricia Hodge).

I wonder if she thought the same of me ? Meaning that I didn't look the way she pictured me. Maybe she didn't even think about me at all.

As usual I am completely drained from my day in the office. Yes, the holidays are truly over

Assissted Suicide Referendum

On Livestation today I saw a news report about possible changes to Switzerland's assisted suicide laws. The Swiss government is planning a referendum to restrict "suicide tourism" Some politicians there claim that Dignitas is not a "not for profit" clinic, but actually makes money helping people die.

Here's a an article about it.

Do you think people have the right to ask for help to die ?

Crumbling Teeth

Never fails; as soon as the cold weather arrives my teeth fall apart. Little chunks breaking off from the awful fillings in the back. I tried having some of these old silver fillings replaced with crowns, but what a disaster that turned out to be. The crowns all fell off and took an extra piece of tooth with them. The dental plan wouldn't cover replacements, because it had been less than five years since I had them done and some of them don't have enough tooth left to do much with.

I was a candidate for implants to be done at the University. Graduate students under supervision. Last year when then found out I was taking Prednisone, they wouldn't continue with the work. I called them today to activate my file and let them know I am drug free(except for the occasional THC) . You might think me crazy letting students mess with my teeth. Honestly though, I am much less nervous going to the university dental clinic, than I am going to a regular dentist. All the activity and busyness of the place is distracting So many people there suffering like me makes it a little easier to take. I have completely lost my faith in dentists due to all the butchers who have made my teeth worse. I was at the point of seriously considering getting the works pulled out and getting dentures.

I'll take one more crack at this implant thing and see how that goes. Implants can only be done on bottom teeth so I have no clue what they have planned for the top ones. I hate it !!