Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
Glad it's over
Horrible, pissy, work week with me breaking down in tears on Wednesday( my in office day). Not a big dramatic cry, just an endless stream of tears. A person saying "trust me " " don't worry" " I've been through bad times here too", had me laughing and crying at the same time.
I work with mindless, insensitive, trolls ! Feeling better today but having a serious bout of the worries. I've decided to take a few days off. So if I'm not blogging it's because I'm out and about.
I work with mindless, insensitive, trolls ! Feeling better today but having a serious bout of the worries. I've decided to take a few days off. So if I'm not blogging it's because I'm out and about.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Feeling Normal ??!!
The strangest thing happened today. Out of nowhere, I suddenly felt normal. By that I mean like my old self before I started getting sick and feeling like garbage all the time. Today, this evening I do not feel like garbage I feel like I have found some long lost soul. That it has reentered my body and I am whole again. I wonder how long that will last. How the heck did that happen ?
It feels wonderful, yet odd at the same time.
I don't understand. Why? Why now? It's not like I've been doing anything differently No new regime, no drugs, no new diet, nothing !!
I have to say a distant Happy Birthday to my ex Mother in Law. I never got along with the woman however, I have to say I admire her strength . I have never know anyone with such a tremendous will to live . She has numerous health problems, has had so many surgeries and been at death's door more than once. Some how she always rallies. So keep going there lady ! May you have many more birthdays.
I have decided to drag some of my postcard collection into the office for an Art/Hobby show this week. Mainly because I think it's an activity somebody else might enjoy who like me, can't always be relied on to participate in something. You can do it when you please, no pressure .
I would say the best part about it is getting to know people in different countries.
So often when we travel we don't really get to know the "natives" and too often when we do, it is in a service role . Not a good thing.
We'll have to see what the reaction is. People are always surprised when I tell them about it I guess some hobbies are seen as nerdy and I'm not really nerdy looking, nor do I act like a nerd. At least I don't think so .
My blog posts are so disjointed I would like to stick to one subject per post but my head is jumping around thinking of so many things at once.
I'm looking forward to my morning commute. Down the stairs and into my home office, with a cup of tea and Mozart playing in the background. Life is good.
It feels wonderful, yet odd at the same time.
I don't understand. Why? Why now? It's not like I've been doing anything differently No new regime, no drugs, no new diet, nothing !!
I have to say a distant Happy Birthday to my ex Mother in Law. I never got along with the woman however, I have to say I admire her strength . I have never know anyone with such a tremendous will to live . She has numerous health problems, has had so many surgeries and been at death's door more than once. Some how she always rallies. So keep going there lady ! May you have many more birthdays.
I have decided to drag some of my postcard collection into the office for an Art/Hobby show this week. Mainly because I think it's an activity somebody else might enjoy who like me, can't always be relied on to participate in something. You can do it when you please, no pressure .
I would say the best part about it is getting to know people in different countries.
So often when we travel we don't really get to know the "natives" and too often when we do, it is in a service role . Not a good thing.
We'll have to see what the reaction is. People are always surprised when I tell them about it I guess some hobbies are seen as nerdy and I'm not really nerdy looking, nor do I act like a nerd. At least I don't think so .
My blog posts are so disjointed I would like to stick to one subject per post but my head is jumping around thinking of so many things at once.
I'm looking forward to my morning commute. Down the stairs and into my home office, with a cup of tea and Mozart playing in the background. Life is good.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
Strange and Wonderul Things.
Here's a photo my friend sent me of a big scary spider. He was out in the desert looking for snakes and snapped this Tarantula. He looks for snakes that stray out on to the highway and removes them. I never knew that a snake will assume a striking pose when a car drives by and instead of scurrying away, ends up getting hit.
The lower photo is one I took last night as the sun was going down over the new sign at the Art Gallery of Hamilton. The old sign, which arched out over the street, fell off during a big storm a couple of years ago. It must have had a serious design flaw as it sheared off the wall in a perfectly smooth slice . Thank goodness nobody was around when it happened . The sign was so big and heavy, they had to leave it lying at the curb for a few days to wait for a crane to come remove it.
The only problem with this new sign, is when you walk down the street on the opposite side, it spells out HDA
Anyway, I went to the Art Crawl on James Street and was on my way home when I took that picture . The Art Crawl is a chance to see all the local artists and their work, sample some nibbles, hard and soft drinks, and wander around. There are also street musicians and other entertainment. James Street is one of those down and out derelict places that attracts starving artists. The city wants to open an art centre there. I just hope it doesn't go the way of other gentrified places and become too cool ( read expensive).
It was nice to be able to go out on a Friday evening, instead of my usual ,flopping on the couch from exhaustion after a day in the office. Guess the tele -work is having a positive effect.
Hmmmm ? (employers take note)
I don't get people who check out blogs, but keep their blog private. What are you trying to hide ?
Come on and join us, the water is fine.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
MS Support ?!
So if you have MS the only answer is drugs ? I'm so sick of websites and blogs were that seems to be the only recommended solution . Stop pushing drugs .
Before you recommend a drug I think you should have proof, real proof, that it works. You should also be more up front about the side effects.
I'm not convinced that many of the drugs work and I'm sick of non professionals and Heck! even the professionals, hawking the latest treatment miracle MS drug. From what I read and what I see, we all end up at the same dead end street . We can slow that mother down, but MS bites us in the ass anyway. On top of that do we really need bummed out livers and diabetes from years of taking treatments ?
Yeah I'm in a foul mood . What people with MS really need is support. They need good care and they need proper living alternatives. They need to feel that they have options besides pills and needles !!!! They need respect and to be able to live with dignity !
I'm moving on with the next phase of my medical accommodation Things are going fine at work with the at home arrangement. Now my battle is to acquire medical information that has been withheld from me and yet has been used against me. May have to seek legal counsel . I'm not getting any answers to my questions . It is so frustrating and maddening to find out that this crazy process I've had to endure for almost two years, was completely unnecessary . I'm disgusted that so called professionals can be so incompetent . How they simply don't care that they have messed up the life of an individual that is not feeling good (actually pretty crappy).
I am sick to death of all these amateur psychiatrists and wanna be counselors. Maybe the need is to help yourself dummies, and leave me alone, because my head is just fine . Yeah I'm crazy but at least I know it and I don't go around trying to "fix" other people because my life is so empty and I'm so needy.
My vengeful side wants to curse them with every plague and have them need help, only to be spurned. My more rational side wants to try do something, so that some other poor sucker doesn't have to go through what I have been through.
Before you recommend a drug I think you should have proof, real proof, that it works. You should also be more up front about the side effects.
I'm not convinced that many of the drugs work and I'm sick of non professionals and Heck! even the professionals, hawking the latest treatment miracle MS drug. From what I read and what I see, we all end up at the same dead end street . We can slow that mother down, but MS bites us in the ass anyway. On top of that do we really need bummed out livers and diabetes from years of taking treatments ?
Yeah I'm in a foul mood . What people with MS really need is support. They need good care and they need proper living alternatives. They need to feel that they have options besides pills and needles !!!! They need respect and to be able to live with dignity !
I'm moving on with the next phase of my medical accommodation Things are going fine at work with the at home arrangement. Now my battle is to acquire medical information that has been withheld from me and yet has been used against me. May have to seek legal counsel . I'm not getting any answers to my questions . It is so frustrating and maddening to find out that this crazy process I've had to endure for almost two years, was completely unnecessary . I'm disgusted that so called professionals can be so incompetent . How they simply don't care that they have messed up the life of an individual that is not feeling good (actually pretty crappy).
I am sick to death of all these amateur psychiatrists and wanna be counselors. Maybe the need is to help yourself dummies, and leave me alone, because my head is just fine . Yeah I'm crazy but at least I know it and I don't go around trying to "fix" other people because my life is so empty and I'm so needy.
My vengeful side wants to curse them with every plague and have them need help, only to be spurned. My more rational side wants to try do something, so that some other poor sucker doesn't have to go through what I have been through.
Friday, June 5, 2009
The Latest Addiction
Here's a couple of shots of Dundurn Castle, were I went walking yesterday afternoon and a view of the other side of the harbour.
Came home exhausted from that walk . I thought I would lie on the couch for a little while and rest. Ended up spending the night there in my clothes, my slippers on, unwashed, teeth not brushed. Seriously, I couldn't get up to go to bed. In the morning I was totally disgusted with myself. I crawled up to the bathroom and had a long shower. After breakfast and a cup of tea I felt much better. This evening I had a shorter walk but still came home feeling wilted. Crashed out on the couch, yet manged to get up at least this time and enjoy the evening . I'm a little worried that the walks leave me so sore and tired.
My son bought me The Sims 3, another addiction. I now have too many goofing off distractions to tempt me.
Monday, June 1, 2009
Walking Blues
Here's a few shots of the Rail Trail in Ancaster. I found another pet rock there !
Had a bad time and had to give up walking, plus it was cold out ! Everything was hurting on me so I took the bus home. Thought I wasn't going to make it, I felt so awful. Decided to chug down an energy drink which normally I only drink when I'm at work. That helped settle my stomach and got me home. Ahh, home sweet home. Felt so good to be back. Made myself some tea , had a snack and a couple of pain killers. I rallied in the evening and ended up baking a lemon meringue pie. I think that's it now for baking until the fall except for shortcake when the strawberries are in season That should be in a couple of weeks.
Things are working out pretty good working at home . Just need to get settled into a routine and then the next step will be to get my after work life sorted out. Oh!there are so many things that need to get done on my long, long, list.
I'm really feeling crappy, so I think I'll finish this and go have a shower
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