FATIGUE !! Yes in big fat capital letters. I'm not yelling; I can't, because I'm too tired. Yet tired isn't the right word. Wasted seems more appropriate, and lassitude : "Languor","disinclination to exert or interest oneself".
I'm disinclined because I don't like starting things and not finshing them. Too many half completed projects, stuff piling up, jobs postponed, makes me edgy, makes me feel like a failure.
But what can I do? If I sit quietly and watch a movie, I am so aware of how weak I feel. I get up, start doing something, and become even more aware of how weak I really am. I do my job and after a couple of hours; lose my concentration, feel like the life is sucked out of me. I know if I put in a full day, that my evening will be a complete waste and I'll be back on the couch watching a movie. And around and around I go.
There are no words to describe what a crappy feeling it is.
I avoid those who tell me to perk up, take more vitamins tell me I'm feeling sorry for myself, or that I'm lazy etc. etc. You know; maybe I would be friendlier if you would just quit bugging me. What ever happened to being there for someone, just being there.
Now I feel disinclined to go on with this post because it serves no purpose. That doesn't mean I'm giving up
No, I'll keep going. I just need to take lots of breaks and I hate that.