D: Drugs

It sure is cold out. Last night -29C with the wind chill factored in. I did notice yesterday that the days are getting a little longer, so that helps banish the blues I always get at this time of year.

D: Drugs

When I had my last doctor's appointment, sure enough;  I didn't leave without a prescription. In a way I feel sorry for my doctor. He really wants to help me, but there isn't much he can do. He knows I won't take any injectable medications and that I reject most drugs. Still he keeps trying. This time it was another "anti fatigue" pill, which is in fact just another variation of speed.  I''m sure the fact that I have a good drug plan only encourages doctor's to precribe more stuff that I don't really need.

When my doctor  told me to take this new medication early in the day as it can cause insomnia, I didn't say a word, but I was thinking "here we go again!" The same message for a new drug as for the old.  Drug companies are very good at dressing up old medications to look like new ones. I even saw a drug ad (while I was in the U.S.) for a pill that helps boost anti depressants, to supposedly make them work better. So they admit the anti depressants don't work that good, but instead of telling people to stop  them, they come up with another pill for you to take!!

Well the prescription is sitting in the drawer and I doubt I will get it filled. I've tried those wake up pills and all they do is make me feel stoned in an unpleasant way. 

My drug of choice is THC vapour and it works for me. Used in moderation, cannabis is beneficial . It helps me sleep and takes away my aches and muscle spasms. I also have very nice dreams!!

P.S. : Does anybody know  the official  MS colour(s)? I looked it up and some say it is orange, but grey, silver, and red are too. I'm asking because I want to design some jewel bracelets for a fund raiser.

C: Computers and Commentary

 C: Computers

What could I possibly say about computers that hasn't already been said?
I was very slow getting my first personal computer;  waiting till around 1997, I think, and I'm glad I waited. Dial up internet and  the constant upgrading to bigger better computers, seemed like a total waste of my time and money. How many people  I knew back in the early ninties who wasted over $3,000 on a computer; only to have it surpassed a few months later and then even after many expensive up grades, the thing was no better than a large doorstop.

By the time I bought a personal  computer the Pentium 2 and cable internet were available. Yeah there were lots of hiccups in the begining with  the internet going down, viruses, and the simple fact that the computers simply couldn't keep up. It was thanks to my young son and his desire to play computer games that I figured out the need for a good graphics card, good speakers, and maximum RAM. ( I don't think they even call it RAM anymore). 

Now here we are in 2011. My new computer with tons of memory, flat screen monitor, amazing graphics and sound only cost me $800 !

To me computers are a blessing and a curse. Computers allow me to work at home, shop for groceries, do my banking, and pursue hobbies . They also suck a great deal of my time that I could use to do others things!!

C: Commentary

"When you represent a district -- the home of the O.K. Corral and Tombstone, the town too tough to die -- nothing's a surprise."
— Rep. Gabriele Giffords, brushing off a 2009 incident in which a demonstrator's pistol fell out of his holster

In my blog I tend to stay away from political commentary and other "hot" topics  like religion, however today I read  an article that  is one of the best commentaries on the awful shootings in Arizona.  I won't bother to say what my take is on the situation, only to say that I will never again complain about politics and politicians in Canada as being boring. AND I don't care what they say out west in the U.S. or what my son thinks; I support restrictive gun laws. I may go into more details about that in my G Alphabet  post.

I recommend Foriegn Policy magazine. I subscribe to the print and electronic versions.  I always look forward to the" Morning Brief" email I get, with the days headlines from all over the world. No I'm not getting paid  to plug it.

Hey this alphabet blogging is great Try it!

Alphabet Blogging: B

B is for Better?

Had my appointment with the Nuerologist today. More about that later. At the end of it I asked him about CCSVI and MS surgery.

He told me that 25 of his patients  have had the surgery. Of those, 3 have improvements in their health that can clearly be measured; meaning tests show they have improved. The rest say they feel better, have more energy, but there is no measurable change in their physical symptoms. He is optimistic that the surgery may result in fewer relapses and slow down progression, which is a good;  however, he still thinks more research is needed and doesn't think anyone should go abroad for the surgery. I had to smile when he said that many of his  patients have not listened to his advice and "it has been a humbling experience". Yeah the days of doctors being the last word are over. Patients  feel empowered to take risks. Have to wonder if the internet has anything to do with it?    

As for me. Physically, I'm better than last year, but mentally, I've declined slightly. No big deal, but I have to go for another MRI.

The appointmet was going well until the doctor asked about work . Without even realizing what was happening; I burst into tears.  It may have had something  to do with that morning before the appointment. I was catching up on 2 weeks of  work email  when I was totally taken by surprise, by a message from my manager. Next week my team  will have a new temporary boss and in about three months another temporary boss until they find a permanent new boss. I don't think I can handle having even more people knowing my business and having to listen to their take on my health, what I should do etc. etc. Confidentiality becomes a joke when you have new bosses every few months and the old ones are still around.

So my idea of publishing a newspaper about my life and handing it out at the office door; is not so strange.

Oh yeah here's the link to my friend Sorav's art  He tells me he can only sell it in India right now but you can at least have a look. And check out his art blog The link is in my list of Other Stuff I Like.

Alphabet Blogging: A-Z

A is for Anxiety

Last night I came up with an idea to  write about topics based on a letter of the alphabet from A-Z

Yeah I could have gone for the obvious : angioplasty; but enough of that for now, because last night I also had an anxiety attack. Now before you have me rushing to the doctor to get some pills and therapy please note that I refuse to allow emotions to take over my life. I faced that anxiety and got over it. I think the attack has more to do with frustration.The frustration of knowing that there are things and people that I can't change, so I have to make decisions about how I must change to cope with it.

I was sitting listening to my favourite radio show on Saturday night ( that will be my N alphabet post) and that's when the anxiety hit. I didn't want the music and the talk to be over. I didn't want a new week to begin. I don't want to go to the nuerologist tomorrow, nor go to the office on Wednesday. I don't want to call the plumber, to come once again to fix the crappy pipes in my old house. I don't want to go out in the cold,  wear my winter coat, and trudge through the snow. I just wanted time to be frozen; sitting listening to beautiful music,  stories, and poetry read by  Marilyn Lightstone.  Her soothing voice so seductive, so calming.

It's going to be an unpleasant week, but I have to face it head on. So many decisions to make.

A is for Art

Here's some art from my friend Sourav"Blame it on Your Parents" I'll post a link to his website as soon as he gets back to me in case you may want to see more and possibly buy something. He's trying to save money to go to Vancouver Film School.

Belated Happy New Year

Happy New Year Everyone!!

I'm off to a shaky start; recovering from a nasty sinus infection and sprained ankle. What fun!

 Seems like every time I travel now I get sick . I find the travel part is getting harder and I'm worried that I may not be able to keep doing it. How elderly and disabled people manage it; I don't know.

I thought the new terminal at the  Toronto airport  would be better than the rotten old terminal 3, and I was looking forward to using it. No!! It sucks!   The departure and arrival is equally bad.  I swear by the time I'm finally allowed to get to my boarding gate, at least six different people have checked my passport and boarding pass. All the time I'm having to drag my suitcase along until I can fiinally get rid of the stupid thing.
Toronto why can't you do like other airports and let people get rid of their bags at the checkout counter?
And what's up with that finger scanner? Who designed that arrival area? Making people go up and down escalators and walk endless corridors until they get to customs AND unlike American airports, no electric carts for people to use. You know, there are people who have difficulty walking, people with small children, and the rest of us, who are so tired and fed up by the time we get home, we don't need to run a marathon through the dumb airport.

It seems that every entity involved in air travel; from the airlines to security, have a total lack of regard for people's time. They just don't care.  They don't even bother to make up excuses.


I also think my dream of retiring in the SouthWest U.S.A. is becoming more of an impossible dream. If I was healthy, it would probably work, but being very unhealthy and seeing signs like this:

 Well I don't know. I'm so spoiled living in Canada. I take for granted that I can just go to the flu shot clinic and get a jab no charge, and so can everybody else.  I can go to any doctor, hospital, or drugstore. Yeah our system is not perfect; but it's still a damn sight better than the mess they have in the United States, even with the new healthcare legistation. 

I'm also not sure if  I would fit in. Being on vacation is one thing, actually living there is quite another.

OK Monday I have my big appointment with my nuerologist. I won't even bother to ask him about CCSVI or angioplasty surgery. I will be discussing my options regarding work. That is something I'm very worried about. I'll  have an update about it soon.