Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Yeah I'm Crazy and Irrational

Can't post any pictures as I'm using my son's laptop, which is photo less. My own computer is acting up . Sure hope I don't need a new one.

Today I really had to fight hard against the depression demons. Cooking, cleaning, walking , talking, gardening, to distract me. Email, blogging, gaming , trying to blot out all the negative thoughts.

I think it's a combination of missing my friends and worrying about work that has me down.
Also missing the old me. Yeah she's gone and she ain't coming back.
And Oh! Man! I'm so tired !

I also realize that when I think I want advice, it isn't true. I just want others to go along with whatever I say. I want them to agree with all my crazy irrational ideas ( like quitting my job) and I don't want to hear any logical comments ( don't quit your job).

Perhaps tonight is a good night for a sleeping pill. Haven't had one for ages, in fact all the time I've been off. It's a cop out I know, but my head is swimming with a million thoughts, few good ones.

If it doesn't rain again tomorrow(record precipitation this summer) I'll go for a swim
Maybe the cold water will knock some sense into me or at least freeze my brain.

1 comment:

mdmhvonpa said...

Unconditional support and validation are a bit important ... helps with depression too, don't you know.