Nyet Nyet Soviet

I wanted to do the blogger awards for "Inspirational Blogger" but right now I don't feel inspired. In fact, right now I wish I had a grenade launcher.

I thought I lived in free country. I thought I was entitled to human rights. Today I feel like I'm living in the Soviet Union, were they use to ship people off to psychiatric hospitals to "re educate" them.

When I calm down I'll be back

Midnight Madness

The list universe has a Top Ten Midnight Movies list . One on the list is "Rocky Horror Picture Show" which reminds me of when I worked at KFC. I was in highschool and worked part time as a cashier, bagger. Back then you had to wear this goofy striped uniform and a silly hat. I notice they have better uniforms ,but I'm sure the job still sucks as much as when I did it. I always try to be nice to service workers unless they are rude, then I blast them.
Anyway this KFC was next door to the "Original 99 Cent Roxy" a movie theater. Every Saturday night they would show Woodstock or Rocky Horror. I hated it because either the burnt out hippies were coming in trying to order hamburgers( Sorry we only sell chicken, and asking 20 times won't get you a hamburger) or the crazies in drag; including my own brother wearing a corset, black cape, and red lipstick !

I wonder if his kids know that their conservative, plaid shirt,khaki pants, Dad, was an eccentric in his youth.

I also won a contest a couple of years ago thanks to that job. Not much,just a hat, but a cool one, with the CBC Radio 3 logo on it. Folks refer to it as a Castro hat.

The contest was "tell us about your worst job ever". I told about the time at KFC when I complained to my boss about the cooks harrasing me. My boss replied" I don't know why you're complaining,I only hired you because you have a nice ass!"

Storms And Swine Flu

Swine flu in the news. Naturally BBC was ahead of the curve on this one. I called my friend in the South West to ask what was happening. He lives right near the Mexican border,so I figured they would have the most accurate coverage. Nope, not a thing. By the morning that had changed and there were dozens of news stories about it. This afternoon the Canadian news picked it up, as we have a few cases here.

Will this be another hype like bird flu, resulting in unnecessary concern? Or is this the big pandemic the WHO has been yammering on about ?

I know I shouldn't joke, but I have been hospitalized twice with flu (yeah I had a flu shot both times) and I was too sick to die! Recovering was worse, because then I had to eat hospital food!

Remember me saying I wanted to take pictures of the tulips blooming? Ha Ha !
Yesterday I was once again caught in a huge thunderstorm . That happened about five times last summer.

Same old story. Left the house to enjoy a beautiful,sunny,23C day. I decided to give my new sandals a test run, which would later prove to be a serious impediment. It's almost impossible to rush when your sandals are filled with water and your feet are sliding all over the place.
There was no hint of a storm, except for the wind, which I found out later was record high that day. Down by the harbour people were fishing, strolling and bird watching, without a care. The only worry was looking out for bike riders and the crazies on roller blades.Do they ever watch where they're going ?

Then on the way home in almost the same spot where it has happened before, the sky started to turn dark grey,then black. The wind was crazy !! Don't ask me what a wedding party was doing out there, with their umbrellas getting smashed and the bride's maids shrieking ! No place to take shelter, the only thing to do was keep walking,really fast. Found a place to stop for a break but it was pretty useless as the wind was swirling all around, so time to walk fast again. That's when it started to pour. It was actually painful, as the wind made the rain feel like it was slapping me. All I could do was put my head down, keep walking, and think about the nice cup of tea I would have once I got home. That's when the sandals gave out. I couldn't take them off either because I can't stand walking bare foot. It hurts too much. What was really annoying, was how just one block from home it turned into a totally insane storm, with crashing thunder and scary lightning. I couldn't run thanks to the those dumb sandals.

Obviously I made it back safe, as I'm here now writing about it . You should have seen the way I looked,like a water logged Rastafarian. My hair so tangled and matted, it took a good ten minutes to comb it out. Besides my wrecked sandals I accidentally left my soaked black pants on top of my soaked t shirt. Now it has a black streak on it that won't wash out.

I hope the bridal party fared better.

Get Loud About MS

Saw this on Nat's blog "London Calling" and decided to give it a plug.
"Get Loud About MS" April 27- May 3. Click the Ad on the left to read about all the great ideas the UK MS Society has to raise awareness of MS. I especially like the Cake Day one and might just do a Boston Cream Pie on May 1st.

Hitchcock And Smokes

Watched an old film tonight on the public T.V. station "Suspicion". Alfred Hitchcock, sucked me right in with a clever plot.Through the entire movie I was convinced the main character (played by Cary Grant) was a murderer and then ...... Shouldn't give it away. Interesting shadow effect in a couple of scenes,that looks like a giant spider web when the wife is there and like prison bars when it's the husband.

I like every Hitchcock movie I have seen: The 39 Steps,The Birds, The Lady Vanishes, Dial M for Murder,Foreign Correspondent, Life Boat, Marnie, North by North West, Psycho, Rear Window, Strangers on a Train,To Catch a Thief, Vertigo.

After, to fill in time because the movie was only 90 minutes (yeah imagine that,less than two hours) they had an old T.V. show "I've Got A Secret". Oh! the shameless promotion of cigarettes! The host and guests all smoking, lots of ads with a catchy jingle " Winston's taste good,like a cigarette should" and the contestants walking away with their prize of a carton of smokes. Any wonder everybody smoked back then?
What do they promote now,that we will find out in twenty years is killing us? I can think of at least twenty things.

Week three of working at home two days. I can't emphasize enough how beneficial it is. The big meeting next week has been changed to Wednesday. That's when I get my "report card" on how I'm doing and hopefully get the green light to work full time at home starting in May. The phone install has been delayed too, till next Thursday. Couldn't help feeling slightly paranoid about that,thinking they don't want to install it because they might not let me continue with tele work and it's all a plot to come up with excuses not to. See how messed up my mind is? After all the nonsense I've been through, I don't trust anybody.


It's supposed to be a nice, mild, sunny, weekend and I'm taking a vacation day Monday. The tulips are just about to pop in the front yard Maybe I can take some pictures to post here another day.

New Blogs, New Followers

If it wasn't for this awful headache I've had all week, I would comment on some new MS and other blogs that I found. Well, really they found me. I was doing a bit of house keeping and noticed I have some new followers. I've posted links to their blogs, so for now check my MS Blog list and Other Stuff I Like . I hope to be able to give them all a plug in my next post.

Have you ever had that feeling you want to unscrew your head from your body and leave it somewhere ?

Axe In The Head

Went to the court ordered training session for "duty to accommodate" today. Yes, we need judges to tell us how to behave . Pathetic

Questions I asked:
Can an employer insist I be assessed a Health Canada doctor ? "No"
Can an employee refuse? "Yes" Can the employer view this as being uncooperative? "No"
Does the employer have the right to choose which kind of doctor I must see ? "No"
Suggest or recommend treatment ? "No"
Follow the recommendations of my treating physician? "Yes"
Does providing consent to exchange information, give blanket permission to any and all to discuss my situation ? "No" Medical information? "No"

Funny. Where did they get the idea that they could do all that stuff ?

The weather is crazy windy , rainy, gloomy. Now I have a mega headache, like an axe is stuck in my head

Sony Photo Awards

Wanna see some amazing photos ? Check out the winners of The Sony Photo Awards here

D'Oh !!

Can't beleive how stupid I am. I missed the MS walk this past weekend! I thought it was on April 25th.
It's raining today, otherwise I would go out and walk to make up for being a dummy.I'll still make my usual donation.I don't have any pledges, partly because I'm not allowed to solicit money at work ; the United Way being the official charity there. I tell anyone else to give money directly to the MS Society. That way I don't feel like I'm pressuring anyone to give.

Anyway,I've been thinking about this whole charity business for along time and have decided to become a volunteer at the MS Society. I have always believed that giving my time is more effective than throwing money at something. Not sure if they have anything like what I would like to do; be a listener. By that I mean not counseling or giving advice, simply listening. I know how weird it is to find out that you have MS or might have MS.

I went through all the stages: anger, denial, bargaining, depression. Can't say I've reached the acceptance stage yet. I know it would have been helpful if somebody, anybody, had just listened to me without giving me advice( you need this drug, you need to see a psychiatrist, etc.) hadn't judged me,( you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and think positive) outright rejected me (MS! Oh! I might catch it!) or worst of all, loved me too much( act like a victim Carole, and we will love you to death).

I have developed good listening skills thanks to my job. . It's always been a good way to diffuse an unhappy person. I let them rant for awhile and listen to what they say, often times repeating it back ( You think the Prime Minister is an *%#!?!?## **%!!!?) Then I try to explain that even though that might all be true, they still have a problem they need to resolve, and that's why I'm here.

This method worked pretty good too when I volunteered at Youth Justice. I chaired a committee that helped first time offenders avoid a criminal record. It was a one kick at the can deal. After listening to the youth and often times the victim and other parties (social workers, shrinks etc.)we would discuss what could be done. The youth agreed to whatever measures we came up with and also to stay out of trouble. If they didn't, then it was back to court and face a judge. 85% success rate, meaning the police never saw or heard from the youth again.

I found the biggest problem was that people didn't listen !! How many times a panel member would ask a question about something the kid had already mentioned, for example, youth:" I love basketball" "I would play it everyday if I could" panel member: "So Billy do you like sports?" This drove me crazy as I saw it as a lack of respect and general disinterest. I also hated the parental approach " Now son we are doing this for your own good" or judgmental one "You smoke drugs !!! "

I loved that work yet gave it up. Some of the sessions would last over two hours and with my fatigue and memory lapses,I found I couldn't mange it anymore. I thought it unfair to the kid who's life I was intervening in too. I was making decisions that had legal implications. Either I gave it my all or not bother.


Now I would like to sit, listen to a person, and maybe help them by at least allowing them to talk. Talk up a storm, without worrying about how I will react.

Think there's a job for me out there like that ?

What A Difference A Week Makes

Friday,early evening, I went for a walk on the trail. These tiny blue flowers have popped up everywhere and I never noticed this bumpy tree, even though I have walked past it many times.

A nice change from my usual Friday's of flopping on the couch exhausted.

Working two days this week at home and what a difference already . If all goes well I will be home four days per week by the beginning of May. Not that I'm feeling fabulous. This morning I a total wreck. How nice to be able to sit at my computer and work. No worries about how I look, or having to deal with the constant distractions in the office. In the afternoon I had a long tea break and thanks to that was able to recharge and get more work done. Can't do that in the office. If I hadn't been home working I'm certain I would have taken another sick day, yet at home I seem to be able to get lots done. Wish management would get it, instead of just caving in because they dread another court battle.

Working at home isn't for everyone. You have to be self directed and motivated.I'm certainly both. Never been the kind to need somebody to crack the whip at me. I think I actually work harder when I'm home.

I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it's all going to work out. Not really looking forward to the "update" meeting at the end of April, with the new manager and five others. More people who have to be briefed on my situation. I feel like a lab specimen and I'm really getting fed up. Maybe it will be the last one for awhile.

I'm actually looking forward to summer now. I might still take some leave like I did last year, but only for a month, rather than three. I'd like to be able to do the three, only I need to start having some decent pay cheques coming in. This mess has drained all my savings. Money I wanted to use for a new fence and windows. That will have to wait till next year.

That seems to be it I've run out of energy again. I booked Monday as vacation so I have a nice long weekend and the weather is fantastic.

Headache and MS

Have a rotten, miserable, headache tonight. I didn't know that headache was common with MS
Read about here There are also some very good videos with doctors from Notre Dame hospital

I hate the way Blogger is now when you post a link or photo. All that code mess.
Going to bed early because I feel like crap

Quiet and cold

Quiet day at work ,hardly anybody around. Some people like to take advantage of the shorter week to use less vacation time. It's cold and gloomy out, so I'm better off working.
This is week two of my working at home, this time Thursday and Friday. Next week I'm taking Monday off and then will work two more days at home. I would like to get to the end of April without having to take any unpaid sick leave. I still have some days to pay off.

This past week Iv'e been experiencing more pain, having to take a double shot of ibuprofen twice per day.Even the tiniest thing like a tag in the back of a sweater hurts me, whereas before, it would have just been annoying. All my shoes hurt now too, including my walking shoes. I keep walking though. I don't care how much hurts.

My next door neighbour (the OK one) came to talk to me about building a new fence on her side. Did I mind that it would be six feet, with an additional foot of privacy lattice? Mind ?! "Hey lady" I wanted to say, "make it ten feet" the more privacy the better.
I just wish the wacko neighbour on the opposite side was as agreeable. The fence there is a mess. I would gladly pay the works to have it rebuilt. Only problem is she is a busy body and will drive me nuts nit picking. I might just get some vines to grow on the fence or put a tall grass plant there.

Not sick of ham yet even after eating it three times today.

Easter: Good , Bad, and Horrific

Well the ham turned out great as well as the home made scalloped potatoes and the pie. Yummy, although there is so much leftover I'm sure we will be sick of it and say "yuck ham" after a few meals. I'm going to freeze a batch to save for an "I don't feel like cooking night" which usually happens by the end of the week.

Had my picture taken with the Easter Bunny yesterday. I'm not posting it because It's awful. Can't believe how worn out I look. Maybe getting back to my exercise routine will perk me up.I've been able to get out for a walk ever day this past week and am planning to go back to the Y swim program this May. So maybe my blob days are over! Only thing is,the last few days I find getting out of bed is rough. I feel like I just want to stay there all day. As soon as I think that I get up, because I think of all the people who are bed bound who wish they could.
It is frustrating though to feel not much better in the morning than I did the night before.I can't remember the last time I had a refreshing sleep.

As far as the news this week end: I watched two very disturbing news video(warning please don't view these if you are around children).One showing the police assault on British G20 protester Ian Tomlinson, who died as a result. The other showing two brutal murders, at the beginning of the Rwandan genocide 15 years ago. Those who are supposed to serve and protect didn't and those who should have didn't. These two incidents leave me wondering if we are at all civilized.

Every Step Matters

Instead of my usual rants of self pity here's a link to the MS Walk 2009 blog "Every Step Matters" and "Foot Notes"


MS Walk in Hamilton is April 19th. Like last year I will decide whether to walk 5k or 8k once I'm there. Hope the weather is good

Mild, Cold, Mild,Cold

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Excuse the blurry photos I took them on my way to work this week to show the crazy weather, mild one day, snow the next.


Tomorrow is my first day working at home. I was at a training seminar today which was extremely boring. Had no choice to attend, it was mandatory for everyone . What I hate at these things is when people start bragging about their job "oh I have done this" and "I have done that" and then they drone on about one of their files. Yeah and the whole place would fall apart if they weren't around.

I felt so lonely today and was missing my old home. I don't seem to have a very good grip on my emotions lately. I'm wondering if it's all the work stress getting to me or does MS turn you into a nut case ?

I'm off Friday and Monday for Easter holiday. It's going to be a nice break
My only concern is cooking this ham that I bought. It's gigantic. The result of me not paying attention when I ordered groceries. Truth is, I don't really like ham all that much as a meal, but I was bored with turkey.. I think I'll make one dinner of it and save the rest for sandwiches or ham and eggs. I'm planning to try and make a banana cream pie from scratch too.
I'm so tired can't even type

Home Office

The deal is, I get to work at home for two days per week till the end of April. If all goes well, it will be full time in May. I'm signed up for a few seminars this month and need to get my laptop up to speed to use it at home That's why it's part time for now.
The struggle isn't over yet. I'd go into more details but I'm so wasted from setting up my home office . Naturally it's one of the most inconvenient weekends, when there's nobody around to help. I pushed myself to do it because the security inspection is on Tuesday and I just know they are looking for excuses to hold things up. Am I cynical and paranoid ? Yup.
What is really sad ,is people will only do things when they are forced to and everything ends up being a fight. Why can't we be decent to each other ?

No They Don't Enjoy It

I was disgusted to read about this video game Rape Lay. Yes a game about rape fantasies. Women do not enjoy being raped you sicko perverts

Oh Yes and by all means let's get young people use to seeing hard core porn

And we continue to be sexist Who cares what the first ladies are wearing? We need more women leaders They can't do any worse than the men. (Obama included)

Police State that's what I think of kettling


I just in one of those moods