Miss Me ?!

Guess who sent me this card today? No, not any long lost friends or family. A credit card company ! Seems they are sad that I no longer use their card Gave me a toll free phone number to call to discuss what they can do to make me start using it again.

OK credit card company who shall remain nameless, otherwise you might complain to Blogger, and issue a" take down order" of my blog for violating your copy right. ( yes they can do that).

I'll tell you what you can do to maybe get me to use your card again. First don't lure me with a cheap interest rate and then try to find any feeble excuse to double, even triple, that interest rate . Oh !what am I saying, you don't even need an excuse you just go right ahead and do it .
You think I'm so dumb I didn't notice ? You think I don't have twenty other credit options, for example my line of credit,which is a zillion times cheaper than your dumb card and I don't have to worry about identity theft or some thief going on a shopping spree online because you have such lousy security? Didn't your bank get a ton of money from the government to keep you going
after you got into debt and made stupid investments ? So why are you chasing me ?

Interesting that you can afford to send me a fancy card and come with this toll free line . Normally trying to get any service is a nightmare of phone menu options and naturally I always pick the wrong one. When I finally figure it out you make me key in my credit card number or phone number before I can speak to a customer service person . Then when they come on the line they ask me for the same info. I know they are using headsets because there is always this odd sounding delay between me speaking and them responding and vice versa. I won't even bother to complain about the awful music and promos I have to listen to while I'm
" put on hold ", nor will I bother to ask what country I'm calling, since all companies outsource , shove ads at me, and use the same Musak. As for service, you and all the others should change the name to "customer excuses", since you enjoy so much blaming me for what's wrong and run through a litany of policies and procedures as to why you can't help me.

Hey! you did ask

Guess I' crabby today because I'm disappointed in my self and my MS. That sounds silly doesn't it ? I really thought I would be able to give up the Amantadine and not take the Prednisone.
Wrong, wrong! I feel like a zombie, my hands and feet feel like they are are falling asleep all the time I'm having anxiety attacks and I feel like I'm walking on a sponge floor.

I'm fed up with these dilemas. Take a drug or not ? Are the side effects worth it? Call the doctor or not ? Quit work, work part time, retire ? Fed up with the constant reminder, every day, every minute, that I have MS.

Time to watch Bruce Lee kick ass.

New Breast Cancer Screening Test

Found this article today in the local paper. Henderson General Hospital will begin testing molecular Breast Screening. It promises to detect tumours as small as 9mm, even through dense tissue, which is common in younger women. Supposedly much more comfortable and less hassle than a mammogram, the two reasons why women avoid getting routine check ups.

The weather is still bitter cold . I'm certain it aggravates my symptoms as my hands and feet were exceptionally tingly last night. I have have survived the day nicely without Amantadine. I simply forgot. I will have some tomorrow, later in the morning, and if things are OK will go to every other day taking it.

The Sims 3 will be out soon I thought I didn't have a good enough processor on my computer to play as it needs a minimum of 2 ghz Turns out I have 3.1 Yay! Can't wait to waste even more time in that virtual world.

Waterfalls and Wellsphere

Did you Hamilton is the waterfall capital of the world ? 121 waterfalls
Have a look here:
Waterfalls of Hamilton There's a listing that includes amazing photos and directions to each one.

It never hurts to have additional resources for health information. I signed up at Wellsphere. They have a growing MS community there . Always nice to find new and different MS bloggers.

I'd like to post these links on the upper part of my main page, but honestly I can't remember how to do it. The help section isn't much help to jog my memory, although it sure is better than the help at my new web host. Never believe IT people when they say something is "as easy as 1-2-3" Trying to get my website going again is turning into a big hassle.

I dumped the old web host because I could never make any changes to the site without the photo section getting messed up. All the pictures would disappear! The tech support people couldn't figure out why. They also billed me twice every month on Pay Pal and I had to go in and cancel the additional payment. When they emailed me to say that the subscription was canceled by accident and I had to sign up again, that was it. All the money I gave them and I always had to clean up the mess they made. I decided not to renew and go with a new company.
So instead of being decent about it, they took my site down and now I have to start all over. I still had a month of service left too. The new web host will be better, if they ever let me get into the site builder that is.

Had to change my keyboard on the computer The t and j decided to not work anymore. Lucky I have a spare, althoughI find the keys very stiff on it.

I have these evil thoughts of wanting to kidnap a techie . I would keep them around to fix up all this computer stuff for me . I have similar thoughts about electricians and carpenters . They would all live in the basement and I'd be happy to feed them, do their laundry and supply a t.v. and computer.

I decided to go off the Amantadine. Not cold turkey, as I know that could lead to side effects worse than the ones I have taking it. Not that they are so bad, I'm just fed up. I want to see if the fatigue will be worse without the medication. Honestly I can't remember how bad it was before. I take as much time off work now as I ever did . I was hoping the medication would curb that. Maybe I expect to much ?
What I have done is instead of taking a pill first thing when I get up, I wait a couple of hours. Each day I increase the time and have now reached the point were I can skip the afternoon pill.
Gradually I will keep on delaying the time until it's too late in the day to take it . Then I will skip a day and so on. I want to be off it completely by the end of January.

No ill effects to report so far.

Memory Foam

Another day at home exhausted . Good thing the Health Canada report has been pushed ahead and should be ready before the end of this month, instead of the initial deadline of March. I'm not expecting any miracles. Having a decision will at least help me to figure out what to do next.

If you need new slippers I highly recommend Foam Treads with memory foam. They cost more than regular slippers but it's worth it. I use to buy slippers at Payless, because other than the Tall Girl shop, they were the only store that had my size. For some reason they don't sell them anymore. I wear size 12 shoes . I don't have any problems finding foot wear except for there being much less selection in my size. That actually is a good thing, otherwise I know I would be a shoe-aholic . Any way I bought two pairs of slippers on sale with free shipping. They are so comfortable and truthfully my leg hurts much less when I wear them.

I have a memory foam mattress which is super comfortable too. I wish they could put that stuff in everything: shoes, boots, chairs, sofas, even clothes. Too bad I can't have a memory foam brain that could bounce back from an MS episode . And speaking of brains I saw a news report that there is a shortage of them around for research purposes. I would happily donate mine in future but would they want it ?

Got a call from the appliance store.They're sending a technician out to have a look at my washer. The customer service person said they think it may have something to do with the way it's draining. What ever, I just want to do some washing. Then the guys who were supposed to remove all the debris from the basement show up with a full truck. Dummies said they thought my junk would fit in. I don't see how when the truck was full to bursting. They said they would be back tomorrow afternoon with an empty truck. Once again what ever, I just want the old rotten wood gone.

The grocery guy called and said he would be late due to the bad weather. We had snow and freezing rain today and it really is a mess out there. I sure wouldn't want to be driving.

I don't know about staying on this Amantadine, it doesn't seem to be working. I think I'll give the doctor a call tomorrow to discuss going off it. Have to tell him about all this tripping nonsense too.

Think I'll do my Wii fit now and see how old I am today. Until my leg gets better I can only do the yoga and balance exercises, which I really like. Never thought I would enjoy yoga.
I wish the the Wii had better graphics and sound. Why can't the trainer speak to me rather than me having to read all that? even if it is praise.

Winter Blues

Winter is here even though the calendar says different. It's bitter cold out and I had to give in and wear a heavy coat, hat, and gloves today. What I don't like about that is I get overheated walking to work and it takes me a good half hour to recover once I'm inside.
I think the cold affects me as much as the heat . I was a wreck this evening and the odd tingling and leg twitches are back . I thought the Amantadine had taken care of that. Is it possible that the drug is wearing off ?

Wednesday is flu shot day. I know some doctors say you shouldn't get a flu shot if you have MS, as it triggers your immune system and can aggravate symptoms. My answer to that is the flu does that too and makes me feel so sick I want to die . I'm also told the flu shot is only 40% effective. Were do they get these numbers ?

Last time I had the flu I ended up in the hospital, so I'll take my chances with the shot and if 40% means that one bug passes me by, that's good enough.

I can't post any photos to my blog until I get the proper photo program on this computer. I don't like the one that's on here, yet I'm way too tired to do anything about it right now.
I really hate feeling like this all the time.

Up, Down, All Around

Like the financial markets and the weather, it's been an up and down sort of week for me. The Amantadine, I will say once again, works, yet the effect is very uneven. I can have a good morning followed by a not so great afternoon. The evenings are slightly better allowing me to stay up later. Instead of wanting desperately to go to bed by 8:00 p.m. I'm feeling that way at 10:00. I still took a sick day off work on Tuesday, and went in late on Thursday, which I'm not happy about. Not much I can do when my body simple refuses to cooperate so that even walking down the stairs is an effort. Fortunately I have some money in the bank. The unpaid leave is really starting to hit my paycheck . When I go for my health assessment next week I'm going to push hard to get tele work. I think it's the answer to allow me to keep working.

It's hard to explain to people how tiring it is to go into the office everyday. There's never a moment of peace and even breaks aren't restful. Everywhere I go there are people milling about. I try to close my eyes for a few moments and sure enough that's when somebody will pop up at my desk wanting something. I'm told I can use the "quiet room" to rest, but Oh! what a hassle that is. It's like trying to get admitted to the hospital and I really don't want a fuss around me when I'm tired and I don't really want to lie down in a dark room either.

Then there's the getting ready for work and the getting there part. Hey I'd like to go to work in my robe and slippers, with my hair in a ponytail, and no make up, only my vanity won't allow it.
I do dress much more casual these days, don't bother with accessories, don't fuss with my hair, and have toned down my shoes, which is as much as I'm willing to let go for now. I'm already having to give up so much with MS, can't I at least still have my mascara? Silly Libra vanity I know. Can't help it.

They do have a job lined up at work for me that would be ideal for tele work. I'm so superstitious even just writing about it makes me think I'm jinxing myself. That's Catholic /Italian/French Canadian , brainwashing from years go that's still in me. Yes Italians and French Canadians are a very superstitious lot. I remember when I was pregnant, my mother, who is a very intelligent lady, covered my eyes when we passed by a person in a wheelchair. She believed that if I looked at the person it would be bad luck and harm the baby. On both sides of the family they always talk about good luck, bad luck, omens, signs, curses, spirits, fate, etc. etc. I try to tell myself it's all nonsense,
still....

Got a letter from the doctor today about more tests on October 16th, which I have no clue what that's about. Have to wait and check on Monday as the office closes early on Friday. Maybe over the weekend I'll remember exactly what the doctor wants to probe next. Once I get my assessment done I think that's going to be it for me with the tests. What the heck good do they do ?

Not Bad Day, Bad Day

Ahhh Save me from the cell phone company with there 10 page bills that you need a PHD in telecommunications to figure out. I spent another hour on the phone trying to get this one sorted. After being told about ten times that it was my long distance that was a problem turns out it isn't so. It's my day time minutes allocation! What crap nonsense. I tell you, cell phones are a racket and I will never sign up for a plan ever again . I'm giving it one more month and if it's the same mess; I don't care how much it costs to get out of the contract I'm canceling and going back to pay as you go.

Yesterday I wanted to do a drug update as it's been three weeks since I started taking Amantadine. Then my internet went funny and was never very good all day. Something outside, I don't know what, was disrupting the wireless signal . I decided to busy myself with chores and errands. The plan was that I would get all caught up and then maybe go for a swim at the Y today. Well, I got up this morning feeling like a train wreck and still feel pretty lousy now.

I don't know if I'm ever going to get the hang of this MS business. I didn't think I was pushing myself too much on Saturday, compared to what I use to accomplish (pre MS). I suppose it didn't help either that when I went out in the afternoon the weather was hot and humid and I really was over dressed for that. Last night I went to bed and my left leg was acting up again with odd pains,tingling, and some twitching, making it hard to settle down and get to sleep.
Things that I can ignore during the day are impossible at night.

As far as the drugs go I can say the Amantadine, does work to a degree . I'm a wreck today, but not a zombie brain dead wreck .

On October 2nd I have my appointment with the Health Canada doctor. Finally ! I got a letter on Friday from our medical officer at work confirming it . The only thing that bugged me was
the letter says he received more medical information that allows them to proceed with the assessment . What the heck does that mean ? If the recent tests I've had revealed anything I'm sure my doctor would have let me know, since he does do phone calls. Well I'm not going to waste anymore precious brain cells worrying about it. All I have to do now is prepare. I'm going to review my blog and write down all the symptoms I've talked about over the past few months. Hey this blog is turning out to be useful !
I'm also going to write down what I think my needs are and what the duty to accommodate should include. If I bring that information with me I won't have to worry if I'm having a bad, brain dead day . I'm also going to get in touch with a couple of people who have been through this already to get an idea of what happens at these meetings.

That's all I can do, the rest I have to leave to fate.

Yes, I'm a fatalist in the sense that I believe I do have some control over my destiny, but there are always forces outside of me that I can't control.

Quick Amantadine Update

This was the first morning that I felt the Amantadine was really working. I was much more alert
and focused. I also noticed last night that my legs and feet aren't bothering me as much which makes it easier to sleep. Still have many bathroom trips though. I'll see how things go this afternoon and evening.

Two Hours of Normal

This morning for about two hours I felt almost normal again. By that I mean the way I use to feel before MS. Not that I was skipping down the street or anything. It was good to not feel anything and by that I mean no : itching or twitching, numb forehead, brain dead, sore eye, sore leg.

Tomorrow I go for another EVP test at a different hospital. Why did my old stupid twit doctor, have to lose the last test results ! It's such a waste of everyone's time and money. Well, at least I'll get a foot massage out of it.


The Amantadine is helping me get through the day. Not a miracle drug but it does help.
One side effect is frequent bathroom trips. Haven't noticed any others.

Today I finished writing a report on my thoughts about work and medical accommodations.
A facilitator has been appointed at work to review all the duty to accommodate requests and make recommendations on how to streamline the process. I thought he might like to know about my three year wait.

Raccoon Buffet

This morning I came downstairs, opened the door to have a look at what the weather was doing, and saw garbage everywhere. The raccoons haven't had a buffet at my house for awhile so I guess it was my turn. I put the kettle on for tea and then headed back outside with a broom. Just as I was about to unlatch the screen door I saw something flutter on top of the now dried out cone flowers. At first I thought it was a leaf , then realized it was a tiny bird. A yellow bird, with grey and black colouring on the sides. I watched it picking away at the top of the cone flower and decided not to disturb it. Went back in the kitchen to get breakfast ready, taking a peek outside every couple of minutes to see what the bird was up to . I decided to take some pictures which didn't turn out any good. Hard to get good shots through a screen door ! The bird hung around for about half an hour, then suddenly was gone. Now I could go out and clean up the mess and Oh what a smelly, disgusting, mess it was . After that was done I went down to look at the flowers. The bird had picked the tops clean. I never knew birds liked cone flowers . Even though I do like the way the dried tops look in the winter with snow on them, I don't mind them being bird food, especially for such a cute bird.

Now as for the raccoons. Live in the city next to a ravine and believe me, you won't think they're so cute.

The Amantadine seems to be working, yet I find it's very uneven. Not sure if it will balance out eventually.

Just Get On With It

No time today for photos . I was too busy being courted by management and the union today and writing up a report about my work/MS situation. Lots going on that I can't talk about except to say things are heading in a much more positive direction. Now if they would just get on with it and quit all the talking. Oh the bureacratic tribalism of the office!

The Amantadine seems to be working. I feel tired tonight but it is more of a normal, end of the work day kind of tired instead of a zombie, brain dead, tired. I even managed to get out for a walk after dinner. I also notice that it's a little easier to fall asleep as I have less of the twitches.

Tomorrow I have to get myself over to the Farmer's Market to buy what I think will be the last of the summer peaches. The apples are on sale now . I had my first Macs of the season and they taste really good.

I'm all talked out or rather typed out, thanks to all the yakking and writing at work today.

If you really want change vote Green.

Art and Indian Food

That's it! I've decide that this weekend I'm going to write a letter for my manager, outlining all the reasons why I should be allowed to tele work. I'm taking far too much time off. Don't they want me to be productive? I've read over the work "Illness and Injury" policies, and the "Medical Accommodation" procedures. They state very clearly that the employee has a right to input as to what the accommodation should be and the employer doesn't require a diagnosis to proceed. I'm still willing to go through the Health Canada assessment, however it's taking too long . I need help now. What have I got to lose ?

Went for a walk in the rain this evening It wasn't an electric storm, just heavy drizzle.
It felt so good after a week of heat and humidity to have that cool rain splashing me. I didn't mind at all getting wet. Stopped in at the drugstore and indulged in a couple of pick me up, lipsticks. After that I came home and decided to make some filling and dough for Samosas. They're to go with Tandoori chicken and Basmati rice for tomorrow night's dinner. I'm getting the hang of this Indian cooking. It tastes pretty good.

I still think I have a Vampiric streak. I seem to recover from my "spells" as soon as the sun goes down . I sure had lots of those this week. They were a little less intense , so perhaps the Amantadine is working. I've decided to wait another week before I up the dose like I'm supposed to. Yeah bad girl, not following the doctor's instructions .
I just need a little more time to see , or rather feel, if this stuff is working or not. Once you up the drugs, it's hard to go back down.


If you like imaginative and fun street art ( and NO I don't mean graffiti) check out this blog by Slinkachu. I found out about him thanks to BBC news . Good to see some news that isn't about elections or the slumping economy, and yet isn't one of those cutesy human interest stories.
I'm going to add it to my hobbies list.

Tomorrow is the Locke Street Festival, which is no big deal. May as well go have a look see as it's right around the corner from my place. I'll bring my camera along and if I get any good shots I'll post some here.
One last thing :I made a boo boo the other day. 50,000 blogs are created every day, not every year . Sorry for any confusion .
Oh yeah ! I put A Stellar Life, back on my MS list .Seems like Diane Stafford still wants to blog.

I Think it's Working

Feeling a little better today Perhaps the drugs are starting to work.
I wanted to do a post tonight about the "Visibility of Invisibility " Wrote the whole thing out during my coffee break today. Reading it tonight I realize it's a bunch of rubbish and I thought to myself "Carole you really should shut up" so I'll just say that if I had to choose, I would stick with invisibility.

Visibility would mean I'm in much worse shape than I am now. Yeah, it's for the birds when people say "you look so good" or "you don't look sick" still better than talking to me like a baby, the way they do to the guy in a wheelchair at work.

I did bad on the health quiz tonight 3/8. I always thought it was seniors who shared prescription drugs, turns out it's teenage girls !

Freemasons

For some reason I can't paste a Word document in here and I'm too tired to type it all out.


Here's the Scottish Rite Freemasons Centre, and All Saints Church, right around the corner from me. Originally owned by the Tuckett family, the church was built for Mrs. Tuckett, who was wheel chair bound, and when I say that I'm not being politically incorrect. In the 19th century you really where wheelchair bound. Mrs Tuckett could be wheeled across the street to church to attend services. When you're rich you can do things like that.
I had a friend offer me to join the Masons. I decided against it since I'm not really sure what it's all about.


My first day on Amantadine .I have to take it every morning for a week then up the dose to one at breakfast, one at lunch. I'll be posting updates on how it's working and any side effects.

Amantadine

Starting my drugs tomorrow morning. Amantadine. Funny thing is I already have a bottle of these pills. The last doctor I had prescribed them. I didn't trust him which made me suspicious of anything he recommended. How can you trust a doctor who makes you sit around waiting for an hour and then when you finally do see him he barely has five minutes to spend with you ? And of those five minuted is busy shuffling through your file because he can't remember you.

My new doctor spends lots of time talking to me and even phones ! OK doc I trust you so I'll try this stuff. The side effects are mild at least, except I'm not thrilled about possible insomnia or constipation. I already have enough trouble sleeping.

Yes, if I could have one wish it would be to sleep through the night. I'm not greedy, six hours would do me fine.

Question: How many new blogs are started every day ? 7,000, 30,000 120,00 ?
Answer tomorrow.