Decided to blog earlier today due to a message I received from a member at the Montel Williams MS site. I had posted a message there last week asking if anyone experienced emotional extremes. I 'm having difficulty controlling my anger . I had two major flip outs during the Christmas holidays. Not that I'm normally calm and collected. I admit it's easy for me to express my emotions. Sure I yell, I cry, but now it's much more intense and lasts too long. When I cry, I really cry ! I can go on for ages , which I hate because I end up with a headache and puffy eyes. These outburst aren't related to any serious problems with anyone . Thinking about it now I believe it has to do with fear. Fear and yes, denial. I'm still in denial about MS. Fear that I will lose my independence . Can I really trust the ones I love to stand by me? or take care of me ?
Is it fair to them. It's not their fault I have this crummy illness. Why should they be burdened .
Fear they will stop loving me. So what do I do ? Fight with the only people in the world I care about? Yeah, that really makes things better. What an idiot I am. I don't seem to be able to control it though. That's why I asked if anyone else has experienced this.
I had a response today . This woman described what she has been through. Not at all fun.
MS affects people in so many ways and each person has their own unique trials with it.
She suggested I try a drug called Cymbalta. I'm going to do some research about it now and maybe make some comments later . I'll try to keep an open mind . I admit to an anti drug bias. Anyway I Thanked her for the suggestion. I've never heard of this stuff before. More later.