Election

Suffering from cramp attacks. Don't think it's MS related. I can't blame everything on MS. Can I?
It's muggy outside and hotter this evening than it's been all day.
Just a quick note to say as I predicted Canada will have a Federal election in October .
The Tories are nervous about a possible Democratic win in the States and want to secure their position.

Freemasons

For some reason I can't paste a Word document in here and I'm too tired to type it all out.


Here's the Scottish Rite Freemasons Centre, and All Saints Church, right around the corner from me. Originally owned by the Tuckett family, the church was built for Mrs. Tuckett, who was wheel chair bound, and when I say that I'm not being politically incorrect. In the 19th century you really where wheelchair bound. Mrs Tuckett could be wheeled across the street to church to attend services. When you're rich you can do things like that.
I had a friend offer me to join the Masons. I decided against it since I'm not really sure what it's all about.


My first day on Amantadine .I have to take it every morning for a week then up the dose to one at breakfast, one at lunch. I'll be posting updates on how it's working and any side effects.

Amantadine

Starting my drugs tomorrow morning. Amantadine. Funny thing is I already have a bottle of these pills. The last doctor I had prescribed them. I didn't trust him which made me suspicious of anything he recommended. How can you trust a doctor who makes you sit around waiting for an hour and then when you finally do see him he barely has five minutes to spend with you ? And of those five minuted is busy shuffling through your file because he can't remember you.

My new doctor spends lots of time talking to me and even phones ! OK doc I trust you so I'll try this stuff. The side effects are mild at least, except I'm not thrilled about possible insomnia or constipation. I already have enough trouble sleeping.

Yes, if I could have one wish it would be to sleep through the night. I'm not greedy, six hours would do me fine.

Question: How many new blogs are started every day ? 7,000, 30,000 120,00 ?
Answer tomorrow.

Wiiiii !

Here's a statue of John A MacDonald, Canada's first Prime Minister. Seems like our current one is pushing ahead with an election. I wonder who will be next ? Funny thing is we might know even before the U.S. knows who their new President will be. I'm embarrassed to say I've walked passed this spot many times and never noticed this statue. I'll blame it on: busy work week, keeping my head down to avoid weirdos, style of walking.

I don't know why there are cannons on each side of John A, except that there are lots of cannons lying around Hamilton. Remnants of the War of 1812, when America tried to invade Upper Canada, as it was known then. That war is a big deal in the Niagara region, as it is home to many United Empire Loyalists. They remained loyal to Britain and ditched the U.S. during the Revolutionary War.

The cannons are filled with cement because you just know some idiot will come along and say "Hey cannons !! Let's blow stuff up"

Had fun this evening playing around with the Wii console. I'm having to content myself with Wii Sports, since not one store in the entire universe has a Wii Fit for sale. The bowling is great to play with more than one person. The tennis and baseball actually had me working up a sweat. You don't just press buttons with a Wii, you have to swing the remote as you would a tennis racket or golf club. It's as close as you can get to the real thing. I recommend it, although the other games you can play aren't so hot. The graphics are kind of childish in comparison to other consoles . In Wii Sport, the figures remind me of Weebles.

Work is so dreadful I won't even comment. It has to get better , it has to!!

The weather is kind of feeling like fall, cool mornings and nights ; warm, sunny, pleasant, afternoons. This weekend coming up will be the last holiday of summer, Labour Day.

I have deleted a few blogs from my links . Easy Recipes no longer exists, MS My Way I had forgotten the author no longer posts on it, and lastly, A Stellar Life by Diane Stafford. She has decided to quit after a year of blogging and move ahead with other projects.

There are always new blogs to enjoy . I'm liking "A Tea Tray in the Sky" by Kelly Siobhan although I think the official title is Ms: Curiouser and Curiouser. I like tea so I'm sticking with the url name.

Oh Yeah, so far my Wii fit age is 71.
I have much work to do before I am fit.

Healthzone has a few interesting health tips today and the Independent a good article about bypass surgery. Not for the squeamish

Perfect MS Weather

A beautiful Monday with a cool breeze coming in off the lake. Perfect weather for someone with MS. There is a definite correlation between the weather and MS. Yesterday it was hot and humid ,
I was a wreck. Today it's mild and I feel pretty good. OK so maybe I'm stating the obvious, it's another point to make with my employer as to why I should telework. And speaking of work: This morning I was blown away by how attractive the manager is. Not at all as I imagined her. I wonder how she imagined me ? There I go, doing the Libra thing again.

This morning on the news there was a report about " Choconomics". When the economy is down, chocolate sales go up. I can so relate to that. Nothing like a cup of tea and a chocolate at the end of a bad day.

Time to get back to work. More Later

Rainy Days and Mondays

The rain today rather than cooling things down like it has all summer, turned outside into a horrid steam bath . I went out in the morning to do errands and the weather really knocked me down. I had one of my "spells" meaning sudden fatigue and fever, resulting in a total shut down of my brain . My legs went all funny . Fortunately, I made it back home in one piece and felt like kissing the air conditioner. What would I do without central air ?

I'm feeling pretty good now and all set for work on Monday . I wanted to start the fatigue medication this week end but didn't get the prescription in Friday's mail. Why did I tell the doctor to mail it instead of phone it in to the drugstore ? Guess it was my same old dread of taking pills. If it's here tomorrow I'm going straight to the pharmacy with it after work. I'm at the point now that I don't care if I turn into a junkie, I can't handle this fatigue.

Just as I thought, our sort of Prime Minister, is pushing for a snap election in the fall. I think he's concerned that a Democrat win in the U.S. , will have us all rushing to vote Liberal again.
I have my Green Party sign in the basement ready to put out in the front garden.

The manager who wrote a very rude letter to my doctor returns from holidays tomorrow .I've never met this person . I can't wait to have another pointless meeting to discuss how she can't do anything for me till the Health Canada assessment is done . This is manager number four in less than a year. I just love Mondays

Nature vs Wal Mart

Rather than whine about my miserable trip to Wal
Mart today, here are what I think will be some of the last garden photos. The wood walkway leads into the marsh in the" Laking Garden".



















A beautiful serene place. I think people would be better off walking around the marsh, rather than wasting their lives at Wal Mart buying junk they don't need. I vow today was my last trip ever to Wal Mart and I've only ever been four times. Did they film "Night of the Living Dead" there ?

Mid Day Report

Mid Day Report only to comment on how tired I am . Doubt I will do any blogging when I get home . My life sucks right now . I carry on. I have no choice.

Here's my mini consumer report:

Clinical strength deodorant really does work and is mild. No dry itchy underarms and no scent. Good stuff, even on a hot day wearing a sleeveless top

After two weeks of visiting the internet cafe at lunch, my conclusion is that the research is right. Personal internet use really is better than going for a walk at lunch time. It clears my head. Employers please allow your workers to have access to outside internet during work hours.

Don't know how to get a good bra fit ? Visit Bravissimo. It's easy and you don't even need a measuring tape. Turns out my bra is too small (no I'm not bragging)

Zip lock bags are a nightmare for me. I give up . I just cut them open with scissors. Who decided that every food item ( even lettuce) should come in those horrible bags ?

That's it time to get back to the snake pit a.k.a Work.

The Doctor Calls

My neurologist called today. The good news is, no new lesions according to the latest MRI.
The bad news is, I have to have the EVP tests done again as the old ones are defiantly lost. Don't really mind those tests, lying around have electric current run through me. I actually like it on my feet. It's like a super massage. I'm just annoyed that it's duplication caused by ineptitude.

After telling the doctor how much time I've taken off work ,he convinced me to at least try a medication for the fatigue. I'll be starting that on the weekend to see how it goes. I know it sounds silly, but I feel like I'm caving in. When I commented that a drug will just mask the symptoms, he said sometimes masking is good. Regardless, I can't go on this way and am at least willing to give it a try. Then like a silly ass, I started crying telling him about other symptoms that I don't really want to mention here. He was very re assuring and I did feel better afterwards.

If anybody out there takes drugs for fatigue I would welcome your comments.

Other health news: Hamilton General Hospital has received a federal grant for a heart research centre. Read about it here. Seems our sort of Prime Minsiter, smells an election coming and is handing out candy. Ha! trying to make out like he cares about healthcare. If he and his conservative buddies had their way the whole system would be privatized. It's only because most Canadians flip out when you even suggest taking away their universal health care system that he stays quiet now on that issue . The only reason he's still in power(minority gov.) is the other parties are so pathetic right now. I vote Green. I figure they can't do worse than the rest so why not give them a try.

I got 6/8 on the health quiz this week. Wow ! 50% of pregnancies are unwanted. I thought it was much less.

Me, Myself, and I

Images of the way I'm feeling right now.


























Like an Alien,wandering, floating. Partly in the world and partly out of it.

Stand Up to Cancer

Saw an interview tonight with Laura Ziskin, discussing the "Stand Up to Cancer" fundraiser to be aired on all three U.S. networks on September 5th at 8:00 p.m. Read about here
and here.

More and more I'm reading and hearing, that cancer is now considered a manageable chronic illness . One step closer to a cure ?

More Art

Here's more art to enjoy. I'm off, and not feeling too good,which I will comment on later.
Art is good for the soul.

Art in the Gardens

Elvis

Just a quick post to say I'm feeling a whole lot better today and looking forward to getting out and about. It was a bad week and what's really maddening is I only worked 3 days ! Well it's over and it's the weekend. Yay!

In one of those odd little coincidences of life, I received a postcard last night from Graceland.
Today is the anniversary of Elvis's death . Keeping in mind that this is random. When a post card member requests an address, they don't know where it will be .

I will be sporting my Elvis purse today in honour of him.

Love ya Elvis !!

Dinosaurs, and Doctor Patient Rules

Here's a couple of pictures from the museum trip this past weekend. The columns are in the subway station called Museum, which is a big improvement. It use to be such a grey ,dismal,
unwelcoming station.
Can't get my head around the creationist idea that humans and dinosaurs existed side by side The guy above looks like he would have enjoyed us as snacks.


Feeling a little better tonight. The plan is to get to work tomorrow Just have to see how things go in the morning.

Here's a blog I ran across in the New York Times health section by Dr. Rob. Read his six rule for doctors and patients. Yeah maybe in a perfect world or alternate universe.

Home Today

I'm home today . Hard to describe this weak wasted state I'm in. I'm only writing this as a record of how I'm feeling so can tell the doctor. Things started to unravel yesterday afternoon and went downhill from there . When I got home from work I kept telling myself all I had to do was rest and I would be fine . In the evening I got everything ready to go to work today, had my clothes, lunch, and bag organized. Decided to go to bed early and listen to music, not feeling sleepy, just weak . Over and over in my head I played the mind games," Oh I would be fine", " I just did too much during the day" ( how much is too much and how can I tell before it's too late?) " have to take it easy" " rest and I'll be OK".

Then this morning I couldn't get up . Just couldn't get my body to do anything. I hate lying around in bed, just hate it. Finally around 8:00 a.m. I lifted myself up thinking I should at least call work. I did that and got a not very nice acknowledgment from my temporary boss(yeah another one). Not that I blame her, she didn't ask to get loaded down with a case like me. Anyway, I feel too lousy to worry about it.

Slowly I managed to get washed and dressed and came downstairs to have breakfast. Don't think I'll be doing much stair climbing today. I'm alone and my legs are wobbly. Stiff, and yet at the same time feel like rubber.

Have I left anything out ? No except that I did buy a Wii, only I'm too brain dead right now to figure out how it works. I'm sure it's very easy. Maybe later and maybe later I'll have something good to write about too.

So What Next ?

OK When does it happen? When will I get to the acceptance phase of having MS ?
I'm not there yet and I'm not sure which phase I'm in right now: anger, denial, sadness , or all three at once. How long does it take to get to there ? When I get there will I be a sagacious dispenser of MS philosphy ? Will I beleive all the MS myths ? ( I have MS but it doesn't have me etc. etc.) Does it matter if I accept it or not ? I mean I'm still going to have this crappy affiction no matter what right ?
These are mid day ramblings from the internet cafe .I wonder what all the people are writing about? More later from home

Garbage

Ahhh I feel about 10 kilos lighter today. I haven't lost any weight, my filing cabinet has.
After rummaging around the last couple weeks looking for documents for my lawyer, I realized the secure filing cabinet was becoming a convenient dumping ground for any and all papers. Today I searched every folder in it and did a through culling . Do I really need to keep old pay stubs and gas bills from five years ago ? Normally I'm not a pack rat, but there's something about papers that I feel compelled to keep them around longer than necessary.
I shredded everything and as an added precaution threw the works in a tub of hot water, then mushed it all up before throwing it in the green bin. I know that sounds paranoid. I have a friend who went through a perfect nightmare due to identity theft . The police think the thieves were able to do it from rummaging in her garbage , so I figure the shredding and mushing are worth it to avoid that hassle .

Didn't feel much like walking today even though the weather was nice and I had the day off.
I just feel so tired and weak. Managed to get over to the drug store in the evening which is at least a 40 minute walk there and back. Better than no exercise at all.

Had a funny conversation with the cosmetics lady, about garbage of all things. Not your typical beauty counter talk. All because I told her that I didn't need a plastic bag and woe to me if I did bring one home. My son is anti- plastic and rightly so, only it sure is hard to live without it.
She told me her son is the same way. I laughed when she told me how he checks to see that every little bit of garbage that can go in the recycling or green bin does. She said she gets so fed up with it that her daughter will take a bag of garbage from home to work with her and put it in the dumpster there .
Then the two of us complained about the icky, maggot filled, green bin, and how sick we are of using it. She agreed with me when I said we should just burn the whole works. After that I left , my green bag filled with over packaged items . More junk for me to sort for the recycling.

11:00 p.m already , time for me to get ready for bed and another anxiety filled day at work tomorrow. It sure sucks when others have total control of your life. Which is the way it is for me right now.

21st Century Boy

Here's a good website I ran across while reading The Independent tonight. 21st Century Boy

The author of the site realized he didn't know how to change a tire, tie a tie, or shave properly, and figured other young men didn't know how to either. He was right, and he now has a very successful website with what I think are some useful tips . Besides the ones mentioned above there's one telling how to hold a baby and another about how to check for testicular cancer.
Anyway, I emailed this one to my son because I'm pretty sure he doesn't know how to do any of this stuff either.

Medicaid Fraud and the Homeless

Read about it here.

For profit hospitals in The U.S. , sending recruiters out to bring homeless people to the hospital for bogus or minor treatment . Some of the treatments even made healthy people sick. This scam sucked millions from the government medicare system.

So many who can't get medical care and hospitals are stealing money from the system.

Still want two tier health care in Canada?

At least St Mike's hospital in Toronto has an actual out patient clinic for the homeless. You can
get treatment there for anything even if you don't have a health card. Real care, not fake care for profit.

Internet Cafe

It's official. I'm a geek. I signed up for a membership at an internet cafe called Click . Yeah I'm 15 years behind everybody else, so what. Click, is a very short walk from the office. I can go out the back door at work, run across the parking lot, and be there in less than 5 minutes . Now I have a place to go at lunch time when the weather is lousy, and it has been that way all week. Rain one minute, cool the next, then hot, then rain again. It's certainly a better use of my time than hanging around the lunch room or at a restaurant gossiping . Far too much of that going on at work. People should shut up and worry about their own lives .
At work we aren't allowed to access the internet or use email for personal reasons. If you get caught ( and many have) it's serious, you can lose up to 3 weeks pay and even get fired.


The guy that owns Click, is a very cute Asian kid .I say kid because he looks like he's about 15 years old. Funny how more and more people look like that to me. He sold me a $10.00 lifetime membership, which he swears really is for life. So if I'm still around at 100 I can hang out at the internet cafe. If it's still there!

Today was a another roller coaster ride at work Total insanity. I feel like I'm working for the communist party with all the stupid bureaucratic double talk I have to put up with. If I hear or read one more "unfortunately" "however" or "but" excuse from a manger, I will scream. Don't ever get sick, because nobody gives a damn.

Went to the art gallery tonight thinking it was freebie night. The very rude lady at the desk advised me that no, that was only on the first Friday of the month. She said only the Canadian Gallery was free this evening. Then another equally rude lady turned looked at me and said with disgust " Free ! yeah right, don't I wish" What a stupid cow. OK so we go up to the Canadian gallery and had fun looking at the Bruegel Bosch Bus . Slowly making our way around following the paintings down the stairs, next thing you know we're in the Japan exhibit . Looked around at that ( lots of cool art there). Then we went into a room filled up with beautiful antique kimonos and that's when we got busted. Turns out we had wandered into the "pay" section. After questioning us, the security guard led us back to the freebie section.
We left using the side door where the outdoor sculpture court yard is. The same rude lady that had been at the front desk came running after us. She said we couldn't use that exit because there was a wedding going on ?? Hmmm, private use of public spaces. I told her they could use more signs. She wasn't impressed.

Had Fish "N" Chips for dinner tonight. I was tired and the rain spoiled my barbecue plans so those are my lazy excuses. How is it possible to be this tired.

MS Society

Here's the Hamilton chapter of the MS Society of Canada. Yeah not very impressive looking, but a good place. I've been there a couple of times, once when I was first diagnosed, and another time when I started having serious problems at work. The volunteers are nice enough, good listeners and answered most of my questions, and I had lots of questions. They suggested I join a group, I guess it's like therapy sessions, people getting together to share their stories, but I'm not interested. I'm not one much for joining groups anyway.

Had a message at MS Watch asking be to take a look at this MS site. Lots of good articles there including one about yoga .

I'm finding it hard to write this tonight. I have hit the fatigue wall and my brain is cloggging up. Maybe it's time to go check out some more prolific blogs.

Lazy girl that I am I ordered a pizza for dinner . For me to be too tired to cook is really, really, tired .

Downtown

Here's a couple of shots I took today in Gore Park. Queen Victoria and the fountain.

I was so in the dumps, I decided to go for a walk downtown at lunch " when you're alone and life is making you lonely, you can always go downtown". Not a bad little park considering that the rest of the downtown is pretty scuzzy. Every new mayor talks about urban renewal and that's it , talk.
Even though right now I'm working with some nice people I feel so isolated at work, like I don't belong, don't fit in. Maybe it's because my future is so uncertain. I keep telling myself things will get better and yet I don't feel it is so. It's only Wednesday of a short week and I'm exhausted.

Besides that ,my son is working the evening shift and I haven't seen him for two days. I really miss him being around and telling me how terrible the world is. It's actually fun to have a nihilist teenager in the house.

I had so many other things I wanted to mention but they have gone completely out of my head.

I did find it cool that despite China filling Beijing, with 100,000 soldiers , 400,000 volunteer security people, arresting and jailing every dissident, and blanketing the city with security cameras, that protesters still managed to unfurl a "Free Tibet" banner right near the Olympic stadium. When will we ever learn that oppression never prevails !

The Quiet Room

Today for the first time and due to extreme fatigue , I paid a visit to the" Quiet Room" at work. This room use to be a first aid station with an attending nurse. They got rid of the nurse and replaced her with a network of first aid volunteers. The room has a single bed, a wheel chair, and some first aid supplies. Can't really say much about the bureaucratic nonsense I had to go through to use this room just to lie down for half an hour. The last thing I need is to get sacked for violating confidentiality. Even though my manger thinks it's OK to violate mine by sending snoopy , none of her business, letters to my doctor. My doctor, in a very polite way, told her where to go. Naturally, the bureaucrats can always justify their stupidity and make it appear that they are doing something for my own good.
Dear managers, you know how you can help me ? Stop trying to help me.

The only good thing that happened all day is I was able to buy the first field tomatoes at the Farmer's Market. They still had raspberries too, so I'm good to make peach melba and another shortcake.

At 10:00 there's a documentary on PBS , "18 with a Bullet" about gang violence in San Salvador. Did you know that there's a gang called the MS gang ? From what I have already seen in the previews these guys are really nasty fellows. Should be interesting .

Prescription Data and Insurance Coverage

Interesting article in the Washington Post . Now Insurance companies can find out your prescription and lab test history, to increase or deny you insurance. It's like a health credit rating.
Consumers should be wary of this. It's fast and cheap to do and you can be denied insurance based simply on what drugs you take and how often. It can also be used to limit the amount of tests you have done.
This applies to U.S. residents however, anyone in Canada who has additional insurance for costs not covered under the health care plan of your province, should be concerned as well.

If insurance companies thinks it's a great idea, it's because it benefits them , not you.

Got an email back from the sleep clinic. Have to be referred by my family doctor and appointments are made based on that referral . I'll be taking him the form next week.

Peaches

Here's a photo sent to me by a friend from 1966 of the stairs going up "The Mountain".
It's really the escarpment, however in Hamilton they like to exaggerate. Folks who live on The Mountain, think of themselves as being better than us peasants down here in the city core.
I actually prefer it here. I find up there is too suburban. When I get a chance I'll go over and take a picture of what the stairs look like now.

I use to be able to climb all 265 of them. It was a short cut for us to get to a club my son belonged to, where he played a Star Wars card game. We would trudge up the stairs every Tuesday. He would play and I would go shopping, unlike all the other parents who use to butt in the game which I think ruined it for the kids. The trip home was easy, all we had to do is shoot down the stairs and we'd be home in ten minutes. Now I look at those stairs and think to myself " no thanks". I'll stick to walking.

I bought my first batch of local peaches today. They should be softened up enough by tomorrow to eat. Looking forward to it. If they have any more raspberries at the Farmers Market this week, I'll make Peach Melba.

There was an article in this weekend's local paper The Spectator, about a sleep clinic. The doctor they interviewed sounds like a sensible guy and not a drug pusher.. Turns out the clinic is right nearby my place. I sent them an email about getting an appointment. I really believe that if I slept better it would go along way to making all the rest ( read MS symptoms and work situation) more bearable. It's worth a try. I'd be happy with 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

Wacky Stuff

Too tired to do much blogging. I'm busy with the garden and have a grocery delivery on the way.
Thought I would post a link to Stuff by Wackystuff, a postcard member who is a very creative guy.
He'll make a cool postcard and send it to you if you like.
So if you need some cheering up, or just want a smile , check it out. I've listed it in my hobby links too.